LAUGHING AT AGEISM

There are probably more ageist jokes now than jokes with any other kind of bias. We've become aware of and moved beyond jokes about pretty much any kind of bias or discrimination, except, it seems, old people. And we are wallowing in jokes about old people. And we are allowing it to flourish.

I've written about this before, but I feel a need to drag it out again, simply because I'm seeing so much of it lately, so many 'old' jokes that diminish women and men who are older. I know from experience that a common reaction to my thoughts is "Oh come on, lighten up, have a sense of humour, be a good sport, learn how to laugh at yourself." Well, you know what? I'm pretty good at laughing at myself, but sometimes I think we need to stop laughing and start stemming the perception that older women (and men too) are forgetful or incompetent or easily diminished or physically unattractive.

Bulletin! We are no more forgetful now in our 60s and beyond than we were in our 30s. I am not some ditzy old broad who needs to be reminded of an event every other day. I'm a bright, active, engaged, busy woman; in fact, I'm a lot brighter now than I was 30 years ago. I have the wisdom and perspective that can only come from my experiences in life, from having been there, done that, from having lots of years under my belt.

I recently received an email from a colleague titled "Be Thankful". It was a photo of an older man and woman walking away from the camera. They are white haired, they had their arm around each other's waist, they were sharing a kiss. They were naked. And they were saggy and wrinkled. Big time. And the caption under that beautiful picture said, "Today we are thankful that the photographer was not standing on the other side."

Hold me down so I don't hurt someone!!

There is so much beauty in that photo, such intimacy, such tenderness; I think it's tragic that someone has seen fit to make fun of it. This is a picture that needs to be used to show people the beauty of enduring love, or perhaps even the excitement of new love, but never used as an example of how saggy our bodies become, never suggesting the changes that age brings are less than desirable.

Take your clothes off and look at yourself in the mirror. Now turn around and look at yourself over your shoulder. No matter what your age is right now, your body is probably not perfect.

Now imagine what you'll look like when you're 70.

Now imagine that someone loves you and your body at 70.

Because it's where we're headed -- and I'm just getting started.

©Marcia Barhydt 2010